My Word for 2018 - When I Grow Up

My Word for 2018 - When I Grow Up Do you decide on a Word of the Year? I have, since 2012-ish. While its always set with the best of intentions, sometimes it sticks and sometimes it doesnt. This years word, Be, was one that didnt. It wound up not meaning much when I reminded myself of it. Its still a concept Im trying to wrap my head around, and maybe it was premature. But maybe it was also because my word of 2016, Accept, was the biggest stick-er of all. It was nothing short of transformative for me, and lead to a huge year of growth both personally and professionally. So here we are, looking at 2018, and Ive known my word for months now: Compassion. Heres something not many people know: I am incredibly hard on myself. Ive always been the teachers pet, the people pleaser, the honor roll student and the performer who lived for applause. When I was going through my life coaching certification, I discovered my biggest limiting belief, instilled since childhood: Busy = Productive = Successful. So, I kept busy. So busy that, as I look at 40 (T-25 days), I can hardly sit still. And when I do sit still before 9pm-ish comes around when my brain says Im allowed to relax I feel guilty about it. I compare myself to others and focus on where Ive fallen short rather than the things Ive done that I know others admire, and that feel successful to me. While Ive been much better asking for help over the years, and choosing to spend time doing integral wellness work (meditation, yoga, exercise, journaling, etc.), I still hem and haw about it. I convince myself I can handle it all, and that there are more important things to be done than whatever I need in that moment for my own self-care, anxiety or sanity. Thanks to the hard work Ive done with my own life coach, Ive known for a while now that my world would change if I extended just a bit more   Compassion to myself in my normal day-to-day life. What would happen if I treated myself like my own best friend? What would expand if I told myself that I Am Enough, and decided to trust and believe it? What would change if I went beyond making a gratitude list most days and started recognizing my accomplishments of all sizes? I have a hunch that Id feel less anxious and more present each day, while feeling more gracious, calm and kind overall. I have a feeling that this would allow me to break through in my business in new, exciting ways. I have an instinct that my relationships would get deeper and stronger, and that Id be more forgiving towards others. I have a sense that this will allow me to start a new decade with an open mind and a grateful heart, ready for new beginnings and a foundation of good health. As my life coach says, Allow yourself to be surprised, so now Im asking, requesting, attracting, demanding that Compassion surprise me in 2018. Im ready for it.